


Lost Spirits

by WerewolvesAreReal



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Child Neglect, Gen, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 01:51:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12571052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WerewolvesAreReal/pseuds/WerewolvesAreReal
Summary: When he is ten years old Natsume Takashi hears stories about ghosts and lines his bedroom with salt. His relatives yell at him, but it doesn't keep the monsters away.Natsume also sees a movie with his cousin, and asks, “But why did they keep showing that lizard?”(Pre-series AU).





	Lost Spirits

After his father dies Natsume lives with the Miyoko family for over a year before they send him away.

He lives with the next family for eight months, then the Saburou's for nine. He's only with the Kamamotos for three weeks before screaming his head off when a youkai awakens him by holding him upside-down above his futon. Natsume flits back and forth between different relatives often enough that he learns to just keep a small box of possessions - his essentials and his most prized memories - and a sack of clothes. That's it.

When Natsume is ten he returns to the Miyoko house briefly. They don't want him.

“Of course it will only be for awhile,” Miyoko Kuro assures his furious daughter. “Natsume is a nice boy, though, can't you get along?”

Ten-year-old Aoi, who Natsume remembers so well, screams “No!”

Kuro winces. “Well,” he continues, ignoring the outburst. “I'm sure you'll get used to each other. The Tagawashi's just need a few weeks to prepare the house before he lives with them.”

Aoi refuses to talk to her parents for four days. Natsume is deemed too old to share a room with her now. He sleeps on the couch in the family room and wakes up, wild-eyed, every night when the youkai that haunts the house shifts into position and starts breathing above his face.

It likes to mutter sometimes, very quietly. Natsume deliberately ignores it, but he takes a lot of walks.

In the second week of this visit Miyoko Kuro tells his daughter, “I'm glad you two are getting along so much better,” as the family and Natsume eat dinner. Aoi has not talked to Natsume in four days.

She does talk to him the next morning.

“You're just as weird as I remember,” Aoi says. “Why are you walking with me, anyway?”

Natsume answers, “We go to the same school.”

“You don't have to walk with me!”

“But I'll be late if I don't,” he points out. She huffs, like he's being unreasonable, and Natsume lowers his eyes.

“It's not like it would matter,” she says. “You're only going to be here for a month – I don't know why you're trying. I don't know why my parents try with you, either.”

After a minute more of walking, she adds, “And don't try getting their attention by running off, this time. Do you know how much trouble you caused daddy?”

When no reply is forthcoming Aoi whips around. She sees this: Natsume, edging his way very, very cautiously around an empty patch of sidewalk. Muttering under his breath. Before he can fully circle around his eyes widen, and he suddenly bolts forward and beyond her, toward the school.

Aoi stares. _“Weirdo,”_ she says.

* * *

 

This is the problem with the Miyoko family: there is no problem with the Miyoko family.

Natsume understands this in his bones. They have minor flaws, like all human beings – a daughter occasionally jealous, an absent-minded mother, a father who is a bit concerned with propriety but who always, in the end, chooses family. But Natsume seems to exacerbate the worst in them, and it's plain because when Natsume arrives it seems like all of their problems center on him.

This isn't their fault, either.

Natsume opens up the closet during his third week with the Miyokos and almost falls over. A twisted, mouthless face with gaping holes for eyes looms over him from inside the shadowy space. It says his name, soundless, wordless: _Natsume._

It missed him. It only says his name and it hates him and it missed him.

It wants to eat him.

Natsume reaches around the youkai, plucks up the jacket Miyoko-san asked him to fetch, and closes the door in its face.

* * *

 

Miyoko Karu thinks that it's a sad thing that Natsume is leaving.

Aoi mostly thinks her father is a bit nuts. Maybe he's faking, or trying to be a good relative, or something. Whatever. She's counting down the days until her weird cousin leaves and her parents are her own again.

But, anyway; her dad somehow thinks it will be a sad occasion. Which is why he insists that she take Natsume to see a movie, instead of letting her go alone or with friends like a mature person.

“You can also take your friends,” he points out when Aoi protests.

“No I can't, dad,” she answers. “He's a _freak.”_

Natsume doesn't seem to care either way.

But Aoi suspects he might tell her father if they don't go, or if she abandons him – after all, he's always lying to get attention, so telling the truth for sympathy would probably be just as appealing. She makes him see a recent romance film with a new, young actor that looked cute in the previews. It's a little weird for a romance – there's a sub-plot involving ghosts, and the male lead is trying to save the female lead from being haunted. (He's mostly interested in the fact that she's beautiful, at first; good thing Aoi doesn't watch romance for nuance). It turns out the spirit haunting her was the woman's little sister, a tragic backstory is revealed, and the two put the spirit to rest while somehow falling in love.

Aoi knows a few friends who would complain about the wandering plot, but Natsume doesn't. He seems pretty interested, actually, and doesn't do anything weird the whole time. For the second half of the film she forgets he's even there.

So she's feeling a bit more mellow when they leave the theatre. In a fit of sudden benevolence, she even debates taking her cousin to a nearby ice-cream stand. “What did you think of the movie, Takashi-san?”

“It was okay,” he shrugs. “But why did they keep showing that lizard?”

“ - a lizard?”

“I mean, I don't understand why it was there. The movie didn't seem like a fantasy or anything. No one even talked about it. I think it appeared more during the kissing scenes - “ Natsume wrinkles his nose, “ - so I thought maybe that meant something? But it didn't.”

“... _What_ lizard.”

Natsume's mouth opens in a small 'o'.

Aoi scowls, mood dampening. This is just like Takashi, she thinks. He can't even enjoy a movie without getting distracted by one of his weird fantasies. “Nevermind,” she says abruptly, angry with herself for even trying. “Let's just go home.”

Natsume trails her silently and doesn't speak again until dinner.

* * *

 

Natsume knows he made a mistake after the movie. Aoi gets angry a lot, but it's not always unjustified. Sometimes he can't help it, though. He can never tell what's _real._ And in a movie, it seemed perfectly reasonable that a lizard would be crawling around on some guy's face. Even if he didn't understand why.

But... actually, that's kind of concerning. Is the actor being haunted by a spirit? He should probably know about that. Or maybe he does; Natsume has only seen spirits make themselves visible to other people once or twice, but he doesn't think it's a good sign. There are lots of stories about people being haunted, though. More than can be explained by just rumors or imagination. At some point, youkai become visible to their victims.

He thinks about the movie and remembers something else.

It was a movie about ghosts – sort of – and there was one small scene where the actors tried to ward away a ghost with circles of salt and an iron candlestick. Natsume doesn't have a candestick but he can probably find salt.

He wonders if it might keep the mouthless youkai away from him for a day.

* * *

 

The Miyokos all jolt awake when they hear the screaming.

Karu and Yuuna Miyoko burst into the family room still in their bedclothes. Karu rushes straight to Natsume, who has fallen off the couch and crouches by the far wall, while Yuuna finds her attention caught by a thick white line running along the sides of the room.

“Takashi-kun?” Karu asks. “Did something happen? Did you have a bad dream?”

Natsume jerks, eyes twitching to Karu, to his left, and back to Karu. “Yes. Yes. I'm sorry...”

“Is this salt?” Yuuna asks by the door, baffled.

Karu helps Natsume stand, eyeing him worriedly. “...I'm sorry,” Natsume repeats, a bit slowly. “It... it's something I saw in a movie.”

“You'll stain the floors,” Yuuna scolds, uncharacteristically upset. “Really, Natsume! Why would you do this?”

“I'm very sorry,” Natsume repeats again.

Aoi finally wanders in, peers at the room, and scoffs before walking away.

* * *

 

The day before he needs to leave the Miyoko household Natsume slips outside for a walk. He doesn't need to pack; he has his small box of belongings and his futon, and that's all. He's learned to be efficient.

The Miyoko's don't like it when he wanders – probably remembering the time a few years ago when he slept at a shrine and caused the whole neighborhood to hunt him down with search-parties – but Karu and Yuuna are gone for the day, and Aoi will just be glad to be rid of him. Natsume doesn't know what the Tagawashis will be like, but he figures their house can't be worse than living under the guilt of Aoi's distemper. Even if the Tagawashi's probably don't want him, either.

He finds himself downtown sometime around noon and passes a gaggle of girls who look like they could come from Aoi's school.

“It's not like he's going to answer,” one says.

“He could,” the other girl argues. “He'll call my number and we'll start talking and get married and move into a big house in Tokyo.”

“Uh-huh,” her friend humors her. “That was his first big movie, wasn't it?”

“But _everyone_ says Natori-kun is going to be in a bunch more!”

“ _Natori-kun?”_

“Shut up.” The first girl blushes. “Just help me write the letter.”

Natsume skirts the group warily, but he peeks back and sees all the school-girls hunched around a paper and laughing. He thinks about the movie, and the mouthless youkai, and the lizard no one else could see.

Natsume recognizes the name Natori Shuuichi. That 's the lead male actor Aoi kept talking about, the one with the spirit on his face. Natsume wonders if Natori knows about it. If he can feel it wriggling and crawling even if he can't See. The thought makes Natsume shudder. He never wants to be cursed like that.

And he finds himself walking around, too. Approaching a nearby store. He goes inside and takes some paper, an envelope.

Actors probably get tons of letters. His probably won't even be noticed. But that also means his letter won't be the weirdest thing Natori Shuuichi has ever read, even if he doesn't understand it.

He writes the letter and slips it into a mailbox before he can change his mind. Then he returns home; he wants to sleep before the Tagawashis fetch him in the morning.

* * *

 

_Natori Shuuichi,_

_I'm sorry if you have a lot of letters. You don't have to answer this one. But if you can I just wanted to know why there was a lizard on your face in_ Purple Shadows _. It didn't really make sense so I thought I would ask._

_I'm sorry again but I don't think I liked the movie much. The salt thing doesn't work._

_-Natsume Takashi_

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**II.**

 

 

Tagawashi Yoko is gone when Natsume arrives at the family door half-hiding behind Miyoko-san, and Tagawashi Taichi stumbles to the door half-asleep.

“Oh,” the man says. He stares down at Natsume, faintly resigned. “I almost forgot that you were coming today... Well, come in. Your room is at the end of the hall.” He dismisses Natsume to speak with Miyoko-san. Natsume scuttles away with his box and bedding.

His room is bare and a little dusty, but clean, and he hasn't seen any youkai yet; that already makes this place better than the Miyoko house. Natsume sets down his box and pulls out a few books, stacking them carefully against the wall. It makes the room look a bit more colorful. The futon goes in the very middle of the room. That makes it look more full, too.

He can only procrastinate so long, and he finally retreats back into the hall where Miyoko-san and Tagawashi Taichi stand together awkwardly. “Takashi-kun,” says Miyoko-san. “I hope you like it here. Call me if you need anything, alright?”

Natsume has been through a dozen awkward farewells just like this. He nods obediently and lets Miyoko-san hug him. The man shakes hands with Taichi and then leaves quickly.

Natsume shuffles his feet. “Thank you very much for having me,” he says politely.

Taichi shrugs. “We're family. Anyway, my wife won't be back until late,” he says. “You can play outside or something.” He goes to lie down on the couch.

Natsume wavers for a minute, then shrugs and steps outside. He might as well get used to the area – and figure out how many youkai are around.

Nights seem a bit colder here, or maybe winter is just coming fast. Anyway Natsume is glad he has a jacket with his box, gifted from the Miyokos, and maybe the Tagawashis will get him a proper coat in a few months – although he wouldn't like to ask. He gets a bit lost walking back but makes his way to the house before it's too dark, feeling a little hungry.

His uncle is still half-dozing on the couch. When Natsume asks Taichi about dinner his uncle says, “Oh, didn't you eat? Like I said, I forgot you were coming. I'll get you something in the morning.”

Natsume doesn't want to be a bother, so he agrees. “Thank you, Tagawashi-san.”

He goes to his room and reads until it gets too dark, and then he sleeps through until morning.

* * *

 

Tagawashi Yoko is gone again when Natsume wakes, and Taichi-san makes a simple breakfast of stirred rice before walking him to school. “You'll need to remember the way,” he tells Natsume. Natsume isn't worried; after a dozen homes he's become adept at navigating new neighborhoods.

He's still not any better at introducing himself.

“My name is Natsume Takashi,” he mutters. A tiny blue youkai is playing with the hair of a girl in the front row, scurrying back and forth over her shoulders. “It's... nice to meet you all.”

No one in the class responds. Someone yawns.

He's allowed to sink into a seat in the back, uncomfortable, and looks out the window. It will be winter soon, he remembers. Winter means staying inside which means keeping away from youkai, usually. But there's more than one reason Natsume hates moving. He doesn't know this place at all, and he doesn't know what type of monsters exist here. He'll have to be careful for a few weeks.

He'll survive, though. He always does.

* * *

 

“You can make yourself something to eat,” Taichi-san says. “I'm going out. Yoko is sleeping, so don't bother her.”

Natsume nods.

There isn't much food in the Tagawashi's kitchen. He opens empty cupboards one after another, and only a small sack of rice remains in one. He finds some sauces on a shelf and a few pieces of dubiously frozen meat, with a couple aged vegetables in the fridge. The Tagawashi's must eat out a lot.

(He finds half-empty bottles of sake beneath the sink, too. But that's not very helpful).

So dinner is a simple stir-fry. Natsume finds a canister of salt while he searches the cupboards, and his mind drifts back to the incident at the Miyokos, which seems so distant now. He takes it back into his room afterward.

There aren't any youkai in this house – none that Natsume has noticed – but they'll come eventually. They always find him, even when he tries as hard as he can to blend in with everyone else. They say he smells delicious, powerful. Natsume doesn't understand the purpose of power when it just makes him terrified all the time.

He rubs a thumb over the dusty cannister, thinking. There must be some way to keep youkai away. Centuries of myths and books and now movies tell him that there must be some way to block spirits. Natsume closes his eyes in thought for a moment, then looks up toward the room's lonely window.

He screams.

The youkai standing in his room doesn't even twitch. She just watches, curiously, as Natsume flings the salt-canister at her and scrambles backward. Salt sprays across the room, running over the youkai's long back robes and finally onto the clean floor. Natsume braces himself against the wall.

He can't see the spirit's eyes, but she twitches her head slowly to the side. The curved horns protruding from her hair seem almost like ears. “Are you Natsume Takashi?” She asks gravely.

Natsume says nothing, but he darts a glance at the door. It's never good when a spirit wants you specifically.

“I'm not going to hurt you,” the spirit blatantly lies. “My name is Sasago.”

Taichi-san will be home soon.

The thought makes Natsume swallow and straighten. Taichi-san will soon be home, and the spirit needs to be gone by then. Natsume can't make trouble for his newest guardian – not again. “Why do you want me?” he asks at last.

A glint of satisfaction. “I was curious,” Sasago answers. “You might be a threat.”

“A threat - ?!”

“I didn't want to tell my master about you until I was certain. I will go to him now.”

“Your master - ?“

And then the youkai vanishes, as though she never was.

Natsume continues hiding against the wall, frozen uselessly like somehow the spirits won't find him if he only stays quiet. Sudden tears burn at his eyes. He doesn't know why this always happens. He doesn't know what he could have done to deserve this life.

Natsume curls his arms around his knees and stays there, breathing raggedly, until he hears Taichi-san loudly return through the front entrance. He goes out to meet him in relief, but Taichi-san just says he wants to sleep and that there should probably be food in the morning.

* * *

 

Taichi-san is gone in the morning and Natsume can't find anything suitable for breakfast. He still has a few hundred _yen_ that the Miyoko's gave him, though, so he goes to school and buys a meat-bun at midday. He eats outside, and that's when he sees the strange youkai again.

Sasago doesn't seem aggressive – she just watches him patiently from near the school fence. But Natsume knows better than to assume that she's harmless. Youkai don't have a very good sense of time. Some of them stalk humans for a very, very long while before attacking.

He nearly falls over when he spots another spirit stumbling by his foot.

This one is far less menacing than the horned, shrouded Sasago, though. Mostly because of its size; it's no wider or taller than his outstretched hand. The little spirit has four legs, an elongated neck emblazoned with red stripes down the breast, and a long, swishing tail. “I heard a human had moved here,” it declares. “A human that can see! This is excellent. You will be my new servant, human.”

Natsume eyes the little chimera wryly. “Do you want some of my meat-bun?” He offers.

“That would be an acceptable offering,” the youkai agrees.

Rolling his eyes, Natsume tears away a piece of bread. Surprisingly, the chimera continues to talk. “Now, I need your help. Your puny human magic should be sufficient to scare away my rival, Tyger. Naturally I am too great to deal with him myself.” Natsume hums dubiously, starting to smile against his will. Probably a ferret, or a rat, arguing about territory. Anything bigger would squash this spirit. “You will be my guard against Tyger-san!”

Natsume just shakes his head. “Lunch is almost over,” he points out gently, but when he tries to prod the small youkai away it just crawls up and clings to his hair, wailing that “Good servants stay with their betters! You insolent human!”

Giving up, Natsume walks back inside with the smug ayakashi riding on his shoulder. Beside the school doors he pauses and turns around. Sasago has vanished, though, without any clue to where she might have gone.

* * *

 

“These furnishings will be acceptable,” Kotobuki sniffs, pacing in a small circle before burrowing straight into the middle of Natsume's futon.

Natsume sighs; some weekend. He should have _known_ better than to feed the chimera again. Didn't Miyoko-san say that animals never go away once you feed them?

Kotobuki- _sama,_ as he introduced himself, keeps one eye open to watch Natsume. “You should bring me dinner before I sleep,” he suggests helpfully.

Natsume tries to make _himself_ dinner, but there isn't any food; he's only had one meal each of the past three days, and his stomach is starting to protest. Both the Tagawashis are gone.

“Well, I don't really need to eat anyway,” says the chimera with a long-suffering tone when he returns. “But your hospitality is lacking, Natsume-bo.”

Natsume glares. “I think there were a few _yen_ on the counter,” he remembers.

“Excellent! Buy me food.”

Natsume grimaces. “I don't... It's not mine,” he protests. “I can't take their money...”

“Yes you can,” Kotobuki argues.

Natsume just shakes his head. “I'll just sleep,” he says. “ - And tomorrow will come faster.”

Kotobuki whines and hops around on his back when he lays on the futon. But at last the chimera curls by his side, grumbling, “This is _not_ the appropriate treatment for someone of my stature...”

* * *

 

Natsume manages to wheedle some bread from one of the teachers during lunch the next day, feeling ashamed; he sits eating it with Kotobuki when the odd youkai, Sasago, approaches them.

“Have you picked up a parasite?” she asks Natsume stiffly. “Does he bother you?”

Kotobuki dives behind his back. “Servant! Destroy this rude witch!”

“He won't go away,” Natsume sighs. He tears a bit of bread off his piece and holds it behind his back. Kotobuki snatches it and lowers his head to eat, still mumbling.

Sasago tilts her head. “...I _see.”_

Natsume doesn't really care what a weird youkai thinks. A few classmates across the grounds seem to be looking at him strangely, so he ducks his head over his food. “Anyway,” he mutters, “Why are you still here?”

Sasago is still eyeing the little chimera critically. “You are very soft,” she decides. “Weak. Defenseless.”

Natsume freezes. He leans back very slowly. “...Okay?” he tries.

Sasago leans closer and sniffs.

Natsume stumbles to his feet. “Right! That. I'm just - class!”

He runs into the school and leaves Sasago behind - still, still watching.

* * *

 

Kotobuki is not impressed with his new servant.

Natsume-bo certainly possesses spiritual strength – that, Kotobuki can tell just by his scent. But his servant refuses to even fight off weak youkai for him, and when Kotobuki suggested that Natsume should slay a little flower-youkai who dared get into their path on the way home, Natsume just suggested, “Maybe you should calm down a little?”

But Natsume clearly doesn't have any proper instincts. For example, his guardians don't feed him, and yet Natsume has neither started scavenging in the forest _or_ tried to consume the adults in his household for this affront. Kotobuki has heard many strange rumors about humans, but he thinks Natsume is an outlier; humans are supposed to be monstrous, not gentle and soft.

Kotobuki has been hovering around Natsume for a week when the boy says, “I think I might need to steal something.”

Natsume sounds quiet, resigned. He gets sad over strange things, sometimes. “That's a good idea,” Kotobuki says. “One of those buildings down the street is a place for storing money, isn't it?”

At that, Natsume's lips twitch. “I don't mean that we should rob a bank,” he responds. “But unless we want to dig through trash or search in the forest for food, I'll need to take money from Taichi-san.”

“Who? Oh, the other human.” The man who wanders around the house sometimes rarely talks to Natsume. He sleeps a lot. Kotobuki thinks. “I would be quite capable of killing him, but it is too much effort. And I have not yet seen _any_ evidence that you can take down a full-grown human.” Kotobuki looks critically at his disappointing servant.

A little pale, Natsume replies, “That... is also not what I meant. Um. Taichi-san seems to pass out at night, most days – it shouldn't be hard to sneak some money when he's not watching.”

“Stealth is a coward's weapon, but I suppose you are weak,” Kotobuki admits. At least his servant is not a complete fool, too.

Natsume waits in his room until the sky has darkened, then creeps out to where Taichi-san can often be found unconscious. The man sags on one couch in a deep stupor. His appearance only suggests sleep to Kotobuki, but Natsume seems satisfied he will not waken and carefully extracts a few thousand yen from the man's wallet on the floor. He does not take everything, despite the chimera's urging.

Natsume does not buy much food that night, either. “We should save it,” he tells Kotobuki, and then falls silent. He seems disinclined to speak, or to clarify himself, for the rest of the night.

* * *

 

Sasago is gone the next day – or, as Natsume thinks is a very real possibility, she could be hiding beyond his sight. He spends the day avoiding the tedium of his new home, wandering through the quiet streets while Kotobuki complains in his ear that “You move too much when you walk, Natsume-bo.”

When he walks to the house around evening Taichi-san is nowhere to be seen – but, for the first time, Natsume meets Yoko-san.

“Who are you?” she asks, glaring down at him on the doorstep. “We're not buying anything.”

“I'm... Natsume? Natsume Takashi. I'm staying here?”

Yoko-san squints at him. “Oh, the boy.” She says at last. “I forgot. Why are you out so late? Do you want people to worry?”

Natsume blinks rapidly.

“Well, if you're tromping in so late don't expect any dinner,” she says. Natsume doesn't understand how it matters if he arrives late, considering Yoko-san _didn't know he was staying here._ “Go to... wherever you're sleeping.”

Natsume opens his mouth, but he has no words. Meekly he inches past the woman and makes for his room.

“I think,” says Kotobuki when they are alone, “That you should find your own nest. Sleeping with vipers is a dangerous thing... even if these two humans are more like fat grass-snakes.” He sniffs disdainfully.

“I can't live alone, Kotobuki. I'm too young.”

“You look big enough to me,” the chimera argues, glaring up from beside Natsume's ankle.

Natsume sighs. And then a voice interrupts - “You could come with me.”

Natsume spins around.

Sasago has reappeared in his room, watching him quietly. Kotobuki bears his teeth, tail growing rigid as he steps in front of Natsume. The female spirit doesn't appear to care. “My master is indeed interested,” she says ominously. “He would like to meet you.”

“You want to fight us?” Kotobuki demands. He hops back and forth on the ground like a terrier, legs stiff. Sasago watches him impassively. “Come on then! Try it!”

“...I don't want to go with you,” says Natsume.

“Hmm,” says Sasago. “Then I suppose he will come to you.” With that, she vanishes through the wall and disappears.

Kotobuki looks enraged. “Pah! Coward! Weakling! Come fight me!”

“I think we should go,” Natsume interrupts. The chimera pauses to look at him. Natsume thinks of his uncle draped over the couch, the cold woman in the master bedroom who has no inkling of youkai or magic. “You're right. We shouldn't stay here.”

“A good idea at last!” Kotobuki proclaims. He darts for the door. “And I know just the place.”

* * *

 

Kotobuki's place turns out be a hole in a hillside, hidden deep in the nearest forest, which smells strange and makes Natsume feel paranoid. He eventually realizes that he's detecting traces of magic, spirits, which is probably why the pseudo-cave seems endless even when the hill itself is tiny.

“Best not to walk too far!” Kotobuki says. “You'll get lost inside, and I can't be bothered to fetch you. You're a lot of trouble for such a weak servant, you know.”

Kotobuki falls asleep easily enough, sprawling himself snoring over Natsume's lap. Natsume runs his fingers through the chimera's stiff red fur and ponders his next move.

He can't go back to the house and endanger the Tagawashis. He can't go to school, either. Even Taichi-san will probably figure out he's missing and alert the authorities at some point; Natsume is pretty sure he'd be in legal trouble if he didn't.

So, this is his life now. Living in the forest with a crazy youkai. Somehow Natsume always figured that would happen.

He drifts off to sleep with the sight of stars glittering down on him through the cave's mouth.

* * *

 

Living in the forest isn't as hard as Natsume would have imagined. Kotobuki shows him good places to forage for wild food, and though he sits back and makes Natsume do the work his advice is always good. They steal some bread and a few water-bottle from a food cart a few days in, and Natsume can refill his water easily enough at a nearby river. Kotobuki says the cave has a little spring, but Natsume is still wary of getting lost.

He stops going to town by the week's end. Partially this is due to concern that there will be wanted posters up, but he's also starting to smell, and his clothes are caked with dirt and tiny bits of leaves, pollen, and grass-stains. He's pretty sure this isn't a permanent solution, but it's not bad.

“I'm probably going to end up sick soon,” he tells Kotobuki one day. The little chimera is perched on his shoulder like a bird. “If I keep drinking from that river and eating weird plants, I mean. I don't know how I'm not sick already.”

“That is probably because of me,” says Kotobuki serenely. “I am a powerful, strong spirit. You should be grateful that my mere presence wards away illness.”

Natsume sighs.

* * *

 

The tengu blinks widely at Natsume. Its beady pupils hover more than a foot above his head, unblinking, and after a minute it bends and raps its beak sharply against his skull.

Natsume waves at it, wincing. “Kotobuki-san isn't here,” he protests. It's an assumption, but a surprising number of spirits approach Kotobuki to settle disputes. What help the tiny chimera might give, Natsume has no way of knowing.

The tengu pecks him again, gives a disgusted squawk, and then turns to wander away. Natsume rubs his head looking after it. Then he kneels back down on the ground. He's hoping to find some more mushrooms for dinner tonight...

He pauses with two hands full of white caps. “Sasago-san,” he greets quietly. “I haven't seen you in awhile.”

Sasago drifts closer, silent. She has company.

At first Natsume thinks the man is a youkai. He's wearing a long trenchcoat reminiscent of robes, a hat pulled low over gleaming red eyes, and to top it off a small shadow-lizard darts over his cheek. But then Natsume remembers the movie, the letter.

Other people see this man too.

“Get away,” he says, understanding immediately. He drops the mushrooms. “I don't want trouble.”

Sasago tilts her head.

“I like fights, though,” says an unexpected voice. Kotobuki bounces up to them from nowhere, prancing in front of Natsume like a horse. “I am still training my servant to be less weak, but I will fight you myself!”

“I feel a little hurt, Natsume-chan,” the man says. He approaches and crouches down, ignoring Kotobuki's posturing. “I didn't expect you to be so rude; I just want to talk to you.”

“You're Sasago's master?”

“I am. She didn't tell you?” the man glances back behind him, reproving. Sasago's expression doesn't twitch.

“...I just pictured someone more intimidating.”

“And less beautiful, I'm sure!” Natori Shuuichi – the actor from the movie – beams at him. “I received your letter. About the lizard, remember?”

The lizard is hard to ignore. Natsume watches as it disappears down Natori's collar. “My cousin didn't see it. I thought it was part of the movie.”

“No. It's lucky for me that normal people can't see him, really – they'd never put my face on camera, and that would be a true shame.” Natori winks. “But, I'm very interested in you, Natsume. I went to the return address on your letter, but they told me you were gone. But you... aren't very happy with your aunt and uncle here, are you?”

“Pah,” Kotobuki says. “Useless worms.”

“Right, yes,” Natori agrees. “I was wondering if you might like to live with me.”

Natsume stares.

Youkai have invited him to stay before. Natsume always mentally adds, _stay for dinner,_ when he gets these invitations. Natori Shuuichi can't be a youkai, and probably doesn't want to eat him, but it's hard to remember that while staring at the man's youthful beauty. Natori is barely out of childhood himself, and the forest, the youkai, give him something of a magical quality too.

And he can see the spirits.

Like Natsume.

“I have a home,” says Natsume at last.

“Here? In the forest? That's not a home, Natsume-kun.”

“I like it,” Natsume says quietly. “No one makes fun of me here. Or says that the things I see aren't real.”

Natori smiles again, but this time he seems a little sad. “I understand that. But I would believe you. I know other people who would, too.”

“My servant does not need you, exorcist,” Kotobuki spits.

Exorcist?

“I think that's his choice,” says Natori. But his smile looks a bit cold now. To Natsume, the teenager stretches a hand. “Come with me,” Natori coaxes. “You'll be safe.”

“I'm already - “

Natsume cuts off, stumbling back as a vast black shape flies out of the brush toward Natori. Sasago leaps to defend him but is flung back against a tree a moment later.

The creature posturing in front of Natori looks like a nightmare. Its face is eerily human, but only the face. It has the striped body of a tiger, with an odd flaming mane and long boar-like tusks protruding over its jaw. Spiral horns turn horizontal when it lowers its head, preparing to rush them.

Then _another_ monster steps forward.

It takes Natsume a moment to recognize Kotobuki. The chimera is suddenly taller than all of them, fur gleaming sunset-red, and the snarl it uses to challenge the new youkai sends birds rushing from the trees.

“Pitiful,” says Kotobuki. Natsume realizes he's talking to him. “Useless servant – I will deal with my old enemy myself.”

“A _mantyger,”_ Natori mutters, incredulous, and then the two beasts clash.

Natsume lets himself be yanked backwards by the older teen. They watch as the giant youkai roll around on the ground, roars shaking the forest. Sasago prudently edges away and joins them, standing carefully in front of the two humans.

When Kotobuki is sent tumbling across the ground Natsume feels a moment of pure terror. Then the beast flips himself over, lunging upward with a powerful bite to meet the mantyger's lunge.

The new youkai _shatters._

In the resulting silence they watch the resulting mist turn white, then clear away. Kotobuki shakes himself, huffing, and suddenly shrinks down to normal size. He trots back to Natsume with a low mutter, smacking his tail against the boy's ankle.

“ - Oh yes,” Natori murmurs, apropos of nothing. “Yes, I very much hope you will join me, Natsume-kun.”

Natsume swallows.

Somehow, living in this forest-haven with Kotobuki has made it easier to forget the dangerous reality of youkai. Natsume can't really defend himself against them, despite what Kotobuki says about 'training'. He's dependent on his flighty chimera companion, and sooner or later something will eat him in this infested forest.

Natori is an exorcist, Kotobuki said.

“Can you teach me how to stop them?” he asks. He reaches down to touch Kotobuki, worried, and the youkai shifts uneasily. “...So they can't hurt anyone?”

“I can teach you how to fight them,” Natori promises.

It's not what he asked. But Natsume nods slowly, anyway. Because he doesn't have a choice. Does he?

“...Okay,” he says.

Natori smiles, and this time, Natsume cautiously takes the hand he extends. Kotobuki huffs but says nothing. “Let's go back to town,” says Natori. His red eyes seem very sharp, suddenly.

“ - And, before we go, I think I would like to speak with your family...”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Summary for a possible sequel:
> 
> Authorities find Natsume Takashi, missing for years, and place him with the Fujiwaras while they investigate. Meanwhile, Natori tries to figure out how to get back the youngest member of his clan, and Natsume gets a very powerful shiiki. Or something.  
>  He also gets a Book.


End file.
